I feel like I’ve come to a point where I can succinctly and without the help of urban dictionary, come up with my own hierarchy of lazy guy behaviours.
Partially thanks to a girlfriend with an impressive rotating list of admirers who inspired me to come up with this one –
An inbox DM with an old booty call who’s tagline is ‘want to make a baby’? actually used to work.
Complete with tattoos and a poodle puppy (tbh the puppy part is pure criminal since the guy doesn’t have to do anything to lure women into bed) this guy never straightened his act.
I find myself saying ‘ass’ ‘douchebag’ ‘retard’ and more on a daily basis when it comes to guys.
I know I’m not the only one and I know that ‘cunt’ is also thrown around as well as pussy.
Because dudes like to get visual when they throw out these words… and girls use emotional words.
Douchebag is actually and unfortunately at the top of the hierarchy because it doesn’t insinuate that the guy is dumb. It means the guy is smart, does dumb things sometimes and lets us all down. Strong 50/50 chance he’ll straighten up but it is 50/50 depending on whether the guy gets into reflection on his actions.
Ass would be in the middle because the guy is actually sharp – but doing silly, out of line, immoral behaviours based on ego and there’s more to ‘show off’ rather than ‘help out’ in this context, hence earning the ‘ass’ title. Fortunately due to the intelligence insinuated while labelling any guy as an ‘ass’, there’s plenty of room to redeem himself and I’ve found that some do. Meanwhile he’ll act out, get away with it, not deal with his own issues, until he either grows up – finds a good job or purpose – or wins the love of a good woman. It has happened, I’ve seen it.
Retard would be at the bottom because this type of guy shows the least chance of reflection, least chance of getting sharp in life, least chance of redeeming himself. This one is thrown around by guys with big egos who pretend anything that doesn’t work around them is retarded. They can get bitch slapped by reality if they themselves screw something up, and usually do. And that’s why they’re called retarded – for taking the high road for no reason except the belief they’re superior. Ergo, the retard will do retarded things because his world is that small. Small brain, small beliefs, small actions.
Phew. Got into a pit of guy B.O.