– being blunt and calling out bad behaviour
– being an attractive woman around men
-comfort zones and goals
– status quo
- – the male world
– 1st 2nd and 3rd world countries
Recently – or usually! – I’ve been getting into discussions with a girlfriend who proved you can work in construction as a woman and lead a whole company, if not two. Our discussions have evolved into finer points about our experiences in managing our way around men to get things done. I’ve used this time to find and break behavioural patterns that seem to have come purely in the knowledge that I deal in men’s health and mindset work.
– after a few months during covid, chats about sex and bedroom habits started creeping up (from men AND women but grossly overdoing it with information from the men’s end)
– mansplaining which I might just cover in another post
– assumption that I give out specific advice for free – which I do up to a point (there’s private coaching, courses and a facebook community involved for a reason).
– challenging status quo – that men need help as much as women and just as stuck in their lives, against the social status quo that men are the stronger ones with no issues, that don’t communicate (all very untrue) this actually has made me super embarrassed to go Live or post on Facebook to people I’ve known for a while but had to be reminded, that it’s the ones with a high pain point I’m posting for.
– helping men confront their fears becomes a curious job .. you shouldn’t do it in public (no intimate subject while face to face should be out in public even with their consent) and you can only guide these men through.
– the eastern men immediately assume a girl like me is available, on the market and will take a video call on social media – explicitly speaking I’ve had a few try out that function and I always declined it. As a servant to the industry, my time is precious and a call needs to be scheduled
– the western men might listen but the majority are total nerds and introverted even as leaders of communities. There’s also a quota of laziness and comfort zones in the mix. Many know they could use some change in their life but between their comfort zone and ego they don’t want to get past hooking up. One actually admitted so on chat.
What is it with men and bad hygiene??? It could easily be the number one thing causing attracting a date to fail
Now as to what I do when I see blunt disrespect and ‘taking advantage’ of who I am, I call it out. Because I call it out straight up, I’m communicating a boundary. Because men who disrespect women rarely get called out, this hits them like a hammer. But because I repeatedly call them out they have no choice but to listen and obey my signals.
Some of these men also have terrible relationships with themselves and their feedback loop could use some fine tuning.
There’s an insane idea out there that being single is an issue. That ageing is an issue in being single. And that you can’t choose who to spend time with while dating. While many might experience this it’s my job to clarify the target and guide toward a goal.
I’ve stumbled – or dived – into a huge area of male entitlement, ego, expectations, performance, status quo and the theme of what manhood is going into 2021.
But before I can help any guy my courage to state what’s going on has leaped times four. I don’t know why but I feel like men could really use personal mentors. I don’t know why there’s a bunch of them living day to day on their own. Not when there’s a crazy world out there to navigate, assertions to make, desires to schedule and wisdom to be had.
Instead you see many of them giving up and heading into drugs (at worst) or throwing themselves into work (at best).
Now being an attractive women in this field has proved itself an asset – in terms of getting attention, intrigue and building relationships. But I’ve had to stomp out romantic intrigues just as much with the men who thought they could get away with it.
Unfortunately I’ve had occasions where I stopped admiring some men based on how much I could see they needed improvements in their life – and they tried to flirt it up and use my own material (this has happened before) for their excitement. Pathetic doesn’t begin to cover it – but I’m also not in the field to judge.
To get clarity in your situation, DM me to get started on a better quality of life experience.