Not going to lie, this article gave me goosebumps.
It was so on point, nailed my own experiences as a girl in the city – or cities.
And it beautifully ties into the feminist perspective I have on life these days.
The newsletter from Refinery UK is one of a few I subscribe to and it was a worthy investment of time because I’ve already checked out some of its articles.
Very substantial and relevant articles.
I highly recommend that you give it a read because it is 100% true. Yes it might be based from a city in another country to yours but the same elements are there. God bless Sweden for actually asking girls for input.
I have read the Price of Paradise by Iain Overton about how terrorism has impacted and shaped our architecture (and more) and he was also on point.
Now this article got me in several ways:
- Sexual harassment of any kind in public
– actually got asked for my number at a bookstore (which is impressive on a romantic level)
- Had a bunch of businessmen hit me up while at a fancy hotel bar in two different cities, while I was either waiting for a bar to open so I could explore another one or hung out with a close girlfriend thanks to her scoring an excellent hotel package through work
- Using friendship to make the parents less nervous about me heading out anywhere, hook up or not
- Come to think of it, had several guys try to hit me up while I was either appreciating nature in the city like at the harbour or at a big shopping center, mostly because I just wanted to be out whether it was cold or hot. I would give them the benefit of the doubt until Ifelt I was being toyed with.
- Finding the most peaceful yet exciting places to cohabit in the city were the cafes where I wrote and chatted to friends and listened to music. And they were cafes with good ambience and food and service.
- The best chats I’ve had were at the shops
- Business workshops conducted through trusted client relationships where there was space and facilities for introducing businesses, exploring options for business and pure networking.
- Best friendship walks I’ve had were at the harbour… but by walking not by stopping and sitting by ice cream or drink shops.
- The times I was in Zurich, I’d either go to a bar and try become friends with someone I could trust (one happened by magic thanks to a friendly bartender) or at a festival where I’d bring someone along or at the train station. Oh, the train station. Everywhere required walking and paying for something, even if it was a crap place to socialize.
- At some point in Sydney I’d head down to the train station to meet a friend and I kept my sunglasses on because otherwise I’d meet a male’s gaze and my burn-out mind was intolerant of a scenario that would follow.
I love to walk and explore and eat and drink and socialize but this article really hit the point square in the face.
Girls need safety, a space to build friendship, a place for intimacy and space for feeling safe. And a shocker: a space they can claim for the future, a place that has their signature on it.
In movies, we can’t watch anything because women are gaining power and more equality and anything less just looks sappy, dependant, clingy, dumb and whatever else. Look on platforms like tiktok where women are encouraged to find their self-worth and do amazing things with themselves outside of finding a partner (which is now becoming mocked, overrated or repeatedly questioned in places like reddit). It is the way women express emotion and stability during a chaotic period, the way they’re loyal to men who basically degrade them.
We have come a long way, even for those films made in 80s and 90s. it is not the same any more.
We are claiming space.
Thank you for reading.
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